Generally, I hold a vlog for my tips and advices in the Music Industry, but I realize that videos are not all the time a support that everybody likes, therefore, I decided to make some of my entries as a post on Medium.
Today, I really want to focus on how to deal with a band member that is dragging you down.
The thing that’s pretty funny in that situation is that most of you guys don’t even realize the toxicity of these band members.
Of course, you may have a slight idea to the fact that they bother you, but in reality, most of the bands I advise and market can’t even see the truth.
When I am writing these lines, I am located in France. I am not in New York for a month because I am part of a few conventions and conferences here in Europe and so I take the time to visit either old friends of mine or new bands and artists.
Recently, I was able to see the project of one of my friends (I will not say the name otherwise, it will be problematic), that happens to have a band.
They are a group of four and they are very talented musicians…
Except maybe one.
Let’s not say that he is not talented, the truth is : he is lacking several hours of music compared to the rest of the band.
The case of that band member is that he is a lead singer for another band of his and in my friend’s band, he is not the frontman. Nobody is! Which is great. They all decided to split the band in 4 equal parts and to manage everything collaboratively. I love that.
Therefore, the singer is pretty much lost.
He doesn’t know how to feel, he is out of his comfort zone, he is dealing with musical problems he doesn’t face with his band… therefore, he is insecure, voices it and tends to skip rehearsals.
That hurts for the rest of the band which is pretty upset. Understand these bad cats, they really want to make this band something meaningful in the local scene.
As I already spotted what happened in the band, I asked them how they were feeling about the band, what were their goals etc… And without surprise, the problem of the singer came on the table almost right away. More than that, they actually pretty much talked only about that for one hour and a half.
There seems to be a problem.
I said it straight of the bat : get rid of him.
Shook. And that’s understandable : he is a good friends for them, they know him for quite a long time, they had a bad experience with the previous one, they already started working well with him… So yeah. That’s tough to hear.
But that’s the plain truth, the singer needs to be kicked out and you guys need to find another one.
They kind of made me realize that in fact they knew the guy was toxic. The simple glimpse in their eyes while talking (fantasizing?) about kicking him out was enough for me to understand it was spot on the problem they had as a band.
Let me tell you this, if you are in the same situation : take your time. Don’t be all explosive, first of all, analyze the situation.
Is the band member really good, or not ? That’s the first driver I would consider. Because if the guy is really good and doesn’t show up for rehearsals or doesn’t invest as much in the project, it is worth it simply vocalizing about it and make them realize that they need to be there.
If after a few weeks it’s still a problem, no medium stage : kick the person out of your band.
Here is why.
The more you will be with that negativity, the more you’ll fear them not coming and you’ll take the positivity out of the wrong place. You’ll be happy he showed up instead of being happy you sold 5 albums last night.
Moreover, these band members generally drag you down and the band suffers from it.
Have the talk. Execute.
INFORMATION : I take a few seconds to also let you know that I am holding a LIVE session every Sunday at 10AM (New York Timezone) and answer all your questions and give away some tips for free for around 20 minutes. Come on my Instagram and let’s get started !