When we hear about “Mamanagers”, we immediately think about something negative. Like if it was taboo, a societal problem.
The matter mostly comes from the media and how they picture this phenomenon. We all heard about Honey Booboo and those shows with eccentric moms ready to do anything for their kid to be the next big thing. And that’s not only in music! Athletes, actors, comedians, wherever there is a talent, there is a mamanager.
Yesterday, one of these mamanagers contacted me on my Instagram from Sweden and asked me for some insights on her daughter’s performance and kids in music in general.
I love this because every morning since I started my journey as a Music strategist, advisor and marketer, I receive messages from incredible people with outstanding stories and it allows me to cover a wide range of information for singers, artists and musicians.
We all know how devastating parents can be on their kids, especially emotionally when they don’t support them but I have to say, the same problem can be observed when parents are all the time on top of their career, mostly at a young age.
That is not only at a small scale, look at Michael Jackson, his father used to be a serious case with his sons as the Jackson Five and I believe that all the transformations and mental challenges that Michael faced in his life are mostly due to his relationship with his father and how controlling this man was.
Do I believe that mamanagers are a good thing? Yes.
Do I believe that it can turn into something ugly? Absolutely.
So let me make an open letter to all mamanagers out there, and by the way, if you are a Pa-manager (I believe it is the term for dads!), you are welcome to read that too.
When it comes to your child, the first thing I want to say is that you should have some patience. Patience is the master word right there. Having patience will make sure that the pressure you put on your child is non existent.
There should not be any pressure at all on his/her career simply because there is no competition, the market has never been designed that way. There is plenty of space for everybody on earth and everybody can have a huge amount of following with their career, the market decides. Not the other way around.
You need to realize that your job at that point is to be an emotional support and to take care of things a child can not take care of. A child can not pick up the phone and book venues, or use social media if they are under 13 years old, or drive the car to go to a concert… You need to be there for them, they are not here for you.
Understand that they are not the projection of your own success. Even worse, if you take a second and realize that you are projecting your success on your child because you wish you were a singer or a musician as talented as you child, then I would recommend you to stop doing this and let the kid be.
It is in their DNA at that point, they will never stop creating and doing their music.
Also, I am very concerned about the era we live in and how we put fame on the front burner, especially with TV shows that are easy to access when you are a kid with a talent. I can not stress you enough to never put them on these shows unless you are 100% sure and that you had the talk with your child, about the fact that there is no competition, he or she is not going for anything but to sing in front of a wide audience and have some experience.
These shows are emotionally draining for an adult, let alone a child, they blast you from your bedroom to a few million people in a very stressful environment and when you leave that show and nobody talks about you after a few months, it can be problematic for your mental health. You would not believe how many people fall into depression after these shows and come to me desperate about their career and their future as an artist.
What you want to do here, is make sure your children are having fun. That they are discovering themselves and all the possibilities they have with their talent.
I want you to enable them to be self aware, to make them understand what are their strengths and weaknesses and that everything is possible when you do what you love and love what you do.